woke up scared

that ohmigod WHAT have I taken on and how the hell am I going to pull it off? feeling.

3 minutes ago, at 7.23pm, I looked up from my computer monitor, and realized that it's dark. That I've been totally immersed in work for the last 3 hours, while the sky changed, and the day ended.

It's the best kind of high. The landing into the real, the solid, the doing that is the antidote to fear.

And here's the funniest thing about it. When I wrap up work in a few minutes, and go home, it's to my parents. That's still so new, so strange, it makes me laugh.

There is a huge, ripe, jackfruit in our kitchen. Overpowering in it's ready-to-eat scent - but Dad insists it isn't time to cut it yet.