44 hours: stay with what is

not what could have been, said my friend R in an email.

What is:

- full hamper of dirty laundry
- stacks of outstanding paperwork
- a dozen calls not returned
- two dozen emails to send
- pages of rehearsal notes to review
- still have to find the right wooden chair to use in the show
- still have to find a hair salon to french-plait my hair on Sunday morning. You'd be surprised how few places do that
- waves of tiredness at 8pm
- sudden pangs of doubt and second-guessing about what we cut and what stayed in
- moments of giddy exhilaration / disbelief that it's finally here - the premiere.