enough with the flowers already.....

said someone who shall remain nameless in an email to me today. Someone else felt snubbed for not being included in my hot tub excursion. It throws me each time people actually respond to my blog. I think: Ohmigod - people are READING it!!

Which is why I've resisted blogging for so long (other than being a technophobe). Personal blogs all seem to go through the same stages:

1) You don't believe anyone's really reading it, so you're gaily unselfconscious about sharing your inner and outer life. It feels no different from journalling, except you look cooler in cafes typing into your laptop than scribbling in a grungy notebook.

2) You realize that at least one or two people ARE reading it, so you get more guarded. And you go public with it (if you haven't already) because you get curious about how many people could possibly care about your daily random burbling.

3) You realize that several people you know are reading it REGULARLY, and it turns into a kind of chat room with them, full of in-jokes and allusions that only they will get. You forget your blog is out there and accessible to everyone until...

4) Bam. You carelessly reveal a personal detail about your own life or someone else's and the revelation detonates all sorts of reactions and repercussions and you run around trying to deal with the fallout and make reparations and your blogging ceases abruptly. Forever.

Perhaps this is all really archaic to experienced bloggers - and there's a whole field of blog studies theory out there - the sociology, politics, and dynamics of blogging. And that's my other fear about blogging - it's like gaming. You get sucked in and you're hooked forever.