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Friday, December 07, 2007

definitions of happiness

On Tuesday, I found myself discussing happiness with a group of friends. How we define it, what it means for us, how we know we're happy.

For L, it was about choice, pure and simple. Happiness is the freedom to choose. With all the prerequisites that implies: physical mobility, material resources, mental health, political security.

For C, it was a balance of four things. First, a home - a place in the world where you feel you belong, a living environment you've created that nurtures you. Second, work that keeps you interested, alive, growing. Third, intimacy, love, connection. Fourth, a space for solitude in your life, where you renew yourself.

When it came to my turn, I said, it's about being on purpose. Feeling fully alive, whatever I'm doing.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Sneha said...

I think I would agree with C on the four things but I would add a fifth, which I'm not sure falls into the 3rd about intimacy, love, connection. Friendship would be my fifth, not always the same thing as love but definitely a connection. Friends are so important to me, to have people I care about, who care about me, to share experiences with, to bounces ideas off, to vent to about horrible days, to rave to about fantastic days, to celebrate with, who could do without friends?

12/07/2007 8:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interestingly enough, not everyone is fortunate to have the freedom to choose, a place they can call home, work that keeps them interested, love or even purpose -but, perhaps everyone can find space for solitude in their life.

12/10/2007 12:47 AM  
Blogger deamer said...

A fun discussion with 3 interesting perspectives. I agree with L that choice is important. Perhaps even more important is a perception of choice. In the irony of the ying/yang of life often our self-imposed restrictions or routines frees our minds and conscious from the burden of choice so we can feel more joy and happiness.
I think C’s balance is well framed and clearly very important for a long term foundation to le joie de vivre. An interesting thought here is how at different times in our lives that different aspects of this balance mean more to us than the others. When I read Shailja’s thoughts I was reminded of a quote I’ve found to be true: “happiness is the pursuit of a worthwhile goal or dream.”
I’d like to add that the most important premise is that we have to choose to be happy. As crazy as that sounds, we have all met plenty of people who just seem to be determined to be unhappy and perhaps even worse, those who are determined to attempt to make others feel miserable. To fill our lives with joy and happiness I think we have to continually make this decision, daily, hourly—sometimes moment to moment. I also believe there are building blocks that allow us to expand our capacity for joy such as to appreciate not denigrate and to look for ways to give vs. searching for ways to take. Thanks for the thoughts L, C and S!
Deamer

12/12/2007 10:45 PM  

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