Use everything in your life to deepen your art
says Stanislavsky.
If it hurts,
write it. If it burns
speak it. If it numbs and deadens,
if you cannot hold it
in your body, move
and breathe, breathe
and move, write it,
write it, write it.
I touch walls and sweaters
and keyboards
as if they bruise easily.
I do not want to be touched
in these charred and sizzling days
when all flesh
is frangible.
Killing killing killing killing:
repeated enough it sounds almost
beautiful.
We are a peaceful people
he said, and now titanium-jawed
parasites swarm over language;
who can restore its meaning?
This rock I lay my spine against
is 12 million years old. Depleted
uranium remains radioactive
for billions of years.
The earth has existed 4.6
billion years.
Listen, she says
microscopic daughter
of a tiny raging species:
in the breath before
all stories die, listen
I will tell you how it was
before the destroyers.
Yesterday evening, I tried to summon words, courage, conviction, energy to keep acting. The only protest I could envisage was to sit on the pavement and cry, to grieve in public. Then I read this article, by Paul Loeb:
”I recently asked former UN High Commissioner of Human Rights (and Irish President) Mary Robinson how citizens could resist this bullying politics. The Bush administration had just forced Robinson out of her job for questioning the United States’ exclusion of Afghan detainees from the standard protections given prisoners of war. “People need the courage to stand up for what they believe,” Robinson said. “If I’d backed down just because the US is the most powerful nation in the world, it would have sacrificed all the moral credibility of my office. By standing up, I preserved it. You have to keep standing up even if it’s hard. You have to be willing to pay the costs.”
Many of us have fought for a more humane world for a long while. It’s daunting to face an administration so intent on handing over every aspect of American life, and indeed of the planet, to small groups of wealthy men like themselves. But we also never know when history may turn--and when our efforts to stem the tide of destructive actions may spark a resurgence of conscience, commitment, and hope. If we reach deeply enough into our reservoirs of courage and vision, keep asking the hard questions, and keep connecting with our fellow citizens, there’s no telling what we can eventually create.”
So I went home and made a big cardboard poster to hang around my neck. It says: WAR = $1 BILLION / DAY. BRING OUR MONEY HOME. I painted $1 BILLION and MONEY gold, and my creativity flowed back. I attached a small American flag and a sticker that says “Miracles Through Action”, and my sense of humor rose from the grave. I wanted a sign that nobody, whatever their political views, could automatically tune out. A sign that everyone could engage with and think about. Who could object to a flag-waving patriot walking the streets, wanting American taxes to serve Americans? Who could fail to wonder whether, for $1 billion a day, they could figure out how to take out Saddam without bombing anyone?
I wore the sign to work, on the BART, up the escalator, in the elevators. I wore it walking the streets downtown. I got thumbs up, and thank yous. I got people falling into step beside me to tell me their thoughts and unanswered questions. I got LOTS of looks. I got, “Mmm-hmms” and “You tell them, sister!” and silent sideways flickers of approval, barely noticeable nods. I got far more support than I’d imagined, as well as a couple of side benefits. More eye-contact and smiles from seriously cute people than I’ve ever had downtown (creative protest is great for your flirting skills). More connection and energy than I’ve ever imbibed on my daily commute. I looked at people I never normally see. I saw how frightened we are. How tired. How sad and beautiful and infinitely precious.
All of which is to say: don’t give in. Don’t let grief silence you. Whatever gives you life – food, color, music, paint, people – harness it to action for the world YOU want to live in. Keep believing it’s possible.
Above all – don’t wait to feel hope before you act. ACT – and I promise hope, energy and joy will follow. If nothing else gets you out there, dress up and tell yourself you’re going flirting – with a protest sign. We never know when history may turn.
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